We continue to struggle. It’s hard. I have been doubting myself. Was this experiment just something done out of my own pride? Am I truly chasing after Gods will? All I want, all we as a family want, is to serve our Lord and Savior, Jesus. All we want is to affect the world around us and reflect the love and sacrifice that our all-powerful god has shined on to us. Deep down, that’s the mission. In the midst of it, without enough to make it, without medication, gas, even food to an extent, we struggle with doubt.
In talking and praying with my wife, I’ve seen the providence of God. We think similarly. We are afraid of our own failures tarnishing the name of Jesus, as if that is even possible. We put forth this experiment as a way to show unbelievers the faithfulness of Jesus, as well as to encourage and inspire those who already believe. Is this the wrong direction? How could it be? It must be our motives. Are we being honest?
Mark Beeson asked a great question this week; “Am I following Jesus, or am I asking Jesus to follow me?”. Discernment and wisdom, do I have them? Or am I leading those I love the most, with only reckless faith? Is there such a thing as reckless faith?
Malachi 3:10 invites us to test God in this one and only area. I admit that in doing so, I have become uncomfortable. I have trusted and believed in a God who allows me to take my next breath. A God who spoke my entire universe into existence. Who am I to test him in anything?
I am seeking the advice and wisdom of those whom I trust. I know that my walk with Christ is only a couple of years old. Fortunately, I have been blessed with great men of God to pour into me. I will be humble and trust their words, knowing that their maturity and wisdom comes from a faithful walk that I can only someday hope to attain.
Jesus literally saved me. He has proved his faithfulness over and over again. I have seen him work in my life. There is no denying his awesome power and love. He is the one and only. All credit and glory is his alone. We are only servants. I am desperate for his presence. All of this world pales in comparison. I am desperate for a heart refined, that craves only Him
For more information of The Experiment click here.