Today I want to talk about something personal. Really, it’s more like an extended series of questions than anything. A search for wisdom, if you will.
From almost the moment of my salvation the Lord has set on my heart the desire to both serve His kingdom as well as share the Gospel. I knew very deep in my heart, right away, that I must chase after His mission and to the best of my ability that’s what I’ve done. I’ve been extraordinarily blessed in my pursuit so far. From leading the Granger Community Church prison ministry, to serving friends and acquaintances, and a variety of other things locally and globally, God has opened doors to allow my family and I to serve him successfully. I could not be more thankful for the ability to serve my Lord and Savior.
The questions come when it comes to how much is too much, and is there such a thing? In a perfect world, I would be ecstatic to be able to serve and love everyday, all day. In reality, life gets in the way. I have an awesome wife and five beautiful children that I support by being away up to one-hundred hours a week working as a locomotive engineer. This job is all I’ve ever known how to do and has been such a huge blessing to us. A large family like ours requires a lot of resources to stay afloat and while we have struggled at times, we have also been “crazy”, “only God”, “miracle”, “take-your-breath-away” blessed. That being said, I am gone a lot, I am on call and never have a set schedule, and if I do miss work (which I have to more often than not) to serve, it takes a big chunk out of an already tight budget.
As more and more opportunities arise to be a part of “the mission”, we have all sacrificed as a family to remain involved and engaged. The sacrifice is not the issue. We all know and/or are learning that working on the side of Christ is not an easy task and we are called to sacrifice for His glory.
My family has been so awesome in this regard! They wait for necessities like shoes and clothes, miss trips and events, live on a tighter than we would like grocery budget, wait and wait on extracurricular stuff like karate or gymnastics, and on and on with little to no complaints.
I don’t want to deprive them but often times I do, and I feel guilty. I want to serve more, but I can’t unless we continue to sacrifice. I want to be radically generous, (which I guess we are when it comes to time) but that requires working more, serving less.
Scripture calls for men to lead, husbands to love, fathers to teach and provide. I am growing in each of these things daily, they are being accomplished. I want to honor God in all that I do, not to impress or satisfy him, but to live the life he calls us to.
How does that work? What does that look like? Where is the line that we don’t cross in our pursuit of mission and family? Nobody is going entirely without, but with what they are doing, is that wrong of me to ask them? Are our sacrifices stupid “first world” sacrifices that are hardly a sacrifice at all? Should we further tighten the budget and eliminate more comforts?
Wisdom, questions, and answers can be placed in the comment section following this post or I can be contacted through the “feedback” tab at the top of the page.