God tells us not to worry over and over again in his Word. It is fundamental to my faith; he is my Savior, my deliverer, my redeemer, my rock. An all-powerful creator, one who spoke into existence all that I can see, and who holds the very universe in his hand, loves me. In fact, he loves me so much that he chose his own son to be murdered on my behalf. With that kind of God loving dumb ol’ me, what do I have to worry about? Nothing of course, but I do it anyway. All of the time. It’s madness.
God has shown my family and I, many times, that he is taking care of us. Blessings manifest themselves at just the right moment, in just the right way, that coincidence is an idea that is obviously ridiculous. He’s got us. We needn’t worry. But, I do.
I know that my worry is sinful. It really comes down to the thinking that I am my own god and that I know better than anyone else. I know what needs to happen that isn’t, I know that it is only me that makes things happen, I know that God is not dependable. All these things that “I know”, they are all me pulling myself away from the sovereignty of God and placing myself above him. That is sin, plain and simple.
I am worried as I write this. I have been worried a lot. I know better. I have to allow God to change my thoughts. He won’t do it on his own, he wants me to want him. I must submit and surrender. Only then will He not only rescue me but comfort me. His rescue may not be a solution to whatever it is I am worrying about, but it will be a deeper relationship with me and a guiding hand to show me that he is on my side.
“Lord, I am a sinful and broken man. I have put myself and my meager abilities ahead of you, your wonder, and your glory. I thank you for your forgiveness and love. I cannot imagine the affection you have for me, it is beyond mankind’s ability to understand. It is evident in every cell in my body and molecule in my world, and yet I dismiss it with regularity. Father, I thank you for your patience. You truly are the definition of love. My arrogance does not dissuade you. Take my life and my will, I once again lay them down for you. Thank you Lord for never changing and never giving up on your sinful people. Lord, I love you.”